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Professor Wrestling: 'Judgment Day' Results
Rey, JBL Clash For World Heavyweight Title
POSTED: 9:07 pm PDT May 18,
2006
UPDATED: 9:19 pm PDT May 21,
2006
Listen up!Class is in session.First, a rant.Rey Mysterio is the "Smackdown!" champ (World Heavyweight Championship belt), but WWE treats him like dog meat. In the past few weeks he's lost cleanly to Mark Henry, The Great Khali and Kane, all in an effort to get us to buy the 'Judgment Day' pay-per-view where he took on JBL for the belt. Uh, the best way to get me to buy that match is to show that your champ actually has a chance. But I know how this one will go. Rey will retain with a miracle effort and the announcers will say, "I knew the little guy had it in him." Well, of course he does. But does he have be subjected to squash booking in the meantime?OK, rant over. I'll deal with that match later in the column. Here's what happened at 'Judgment Day':Challenge Match: Melina vs. Jillian
What Should Happen: Women's wrestling, WWE style. Can they pull off their moves? Or is it just a jiggle-fest? That's not a tough one to answer.
What Will Happen: Melina wins, screams real loud.
What Did Happen: Jillian beat Melina in about three minutes. About two minutes too long.
WWE Tag Team Championship: MNM (c) vs. Brian Kendrick and Paul London
What Should Happen: Ah, it's your classic unbeaten up-and-coming babyface squad taking on the cheating heel champions. You have to go with MNM here, so I'll pay for this match again.
What Will Happen: MNM retains.
What Did Happen: Kendrick and London get a clean pin for the WWE belts. Afterwards Mercury and Nitro brawled. I guess I won't be paying for this match again.
Challenge Match: Finlay vs. Chris Benoit
What Should Happen: While both men are mat masters, this one does nothing for me. The best thing to do is to have Benoit or Finlay go nuts and give us something we're not expecting.
What Will Happen: Benoit takes it via submission.
What Did Happen: Benoit won with his crippler crossface move.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Gregory Helms (c) vs. Super Crazy
What Should Happen: WWE has a cruiserweight division? I haven't noticed lately. Helms, the former Hurricane, meets a member of the Mexicools. This might not be a bad match if they're given more than 10 minutes to perform. But don't bet on it. What should happen? I'm not sure it really matters since WWE hates this weight class. To pretend otherwise is a bit foolish.
What Will Happen: Super Crazy takes it, upsetting Helms.
What Did Happen: Helms cheated to win, using the second rope for leverage. But give WWE a little credit. The match lasted 13 minutes.
Challenge Match: Undertaker vs. The Great Khali
What Should Happen: Here you have your classic unbeaten monster versus a man who refuses to be beaten at "WrestleMania." I don't like UT's chances -- because smart booking says he should lose. You don't bury a new monster on his first PPV.
What Will Happen: Khali, by golly, will win.
What Did Happen: Khali hit UT with a big boot to the face, and won the match.
Challenge Match: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
What Should Happen: Let's be really clear. Kurt Angle is great. Mark Henry doesn't belong in a wrestling ring. He just doesn't move fast enough. His bulk, shall we say, works against him. Is that polite enough? Bottom line: I've seen this before. I didn't like it then, and I don't think I'll like it now.
What Will Happen: Angle does most of the work, and is rewarded with a victory.
What Did Happen: Angle does most of the work, but in the end he's counted out and Henry gets the victory. Afterwards, Angle snapped.
King Of The Ring Final: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley
What Should Happen: This one, kids, is a lock. There's no way -- and rightly so -- that WWE will have Booker lose this match. They're not going to put a championship belt around his waist anytime soon, so why not give him the bogus KOR title? Lashley, by losing, is still strong because he's the "up and coming talent who is still learning the game."
What Will Happen: Booker, with help from his wife/valet Sharmell, lays out Lashley.
What Did Happen: Booker T took it, becoming the new King Of The Ring. Bogus, but it fits. Plenty of interference from Sharmell and Lashley's foe, Finlay.
World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. JBL
What Should Happen: I'm completely torn here. Mysterio is great, but so is JBL -- but for far different reasons. Rey is fantastic in the ring, Bradshaw is one of the best on the microphone. A writer could go either way here and not make a bad decision.
What Will Happen: No matter how poorly he's been treated, I have to think WWE will let Rey retain his belt in his first pay-per-view match. Mysterio takes it.
What Did Happen: Rey hits JBL with a 619, and then an Eddie Guerrero frog splash for the victory. Rey Mysterio remains your World Heavyweight Champion.
To wrap it up -- four right, four wrong for the night. In the big leagues, kids, that's called batting .500. In short, it's yet again another excellent piece of fake sports prognostication from yours truly.This Friday: Rip city!Now scram!Class dismissed!(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )
What Should Happen: Women's wrestling, WWE style. Can they pull off their moves? Or is it just a jiggle-fest? That's not a tough one to answer.
What Will Happen: Melina wins, screams real loud.
What Did Happen: Jillian beat Melina in about three minutes. About two minutes too long.
WWE Tag Team Championship: MNM (c) vs. Brian Kendrick and Paul London
What Should Happen: Ah, it's your classic unbeaten up-and-coming babyface squad taking on the cheating heel champions. You have to go with MNM here, so I'll pay for this match again.
What Will Happen: MNM retains.
What Did Happen: Kendrick and London get a clean pin for the WWE belts. Afterwards Mercury and Nitro brawled. I guess I won't be paying for this match again.
Challenge Match: Finlay vs. Chris Benoit
What Should Happen: While both men are mat masters, this one does nothing for me. The best thing to do is to have Benoit or Finlay go nuts and give us something we're not expecting.
What Will Happen: Benoit takes it via submission.
What Did Happen: Benoit won with his crippler crossface move.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Gregory Helms (c) vs. Super Crazy
What Should Happen: WWE has a cruiserweight division? I haven't noticed lately. Helms, the former Hurricane, meets a member of the Mexicools. This might not be a bad match if they're given more than 10 minutes to perform. But don't bet on it. What should happen? I'm not sure it really matters since WWE hates this weight class. To pretend otherwise is a bit foolish.
What Will Happen: Super Crazy takes it, upsetting Helms.
What Did Happen: Helms cheated to win, using the second rope for leverage. But give WWE a little credit. The match lasted 13 minutes.
Challenge Match: Undertaker vs. The Great Khali
What Should Happen: Here you have your classic unbeaten monster versus a man who refuses to be beaten at "WrestleMania." I don't like UT's chances -- because smart booking says he should lose. You don't bury a new monster on his first PPV.
What Will Happen: Khali, by golly, will win.
What Did Happen: Khali hit UT with a big boot to the face, and won the match.
Challenge Match: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
What Should Happen: Let's be really clear. Kurt Angle is great. Mark Henry doesn't belong in a wrestling ring. He just doesn't move fast enough. His bulk, shall we say, works against him. Is that polite enough? Bottom line: I've seen this before. I didn't like it then, and I don't think I'll like it now.
What Will Happen: Angle does most of the work, and is rewarded with a victory.
What Did Happen: Angle does most of the work, but in the end he's counted out and Henry gets the victory. Afterwards, Angle snapped.
King Of The Ring Final: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley
What Should Happen: This one, kids, is a lock. There's no way -- and rightly so -- that WWE will have Booker lose this match. They're not going to put a championship belt around his waist anytime soon, so why not give him the bogus KOR title? Lashley, by losing, is still strong because he's the "up and coming talent who is still learning the game."
What Will Happen: Booker, with help from his wife/valet Sharmell, lays out Lashley.
What Did Happen: Booker T took it, becoming the new King Of The Ring. Bogus, but it fits. Plenty of interference from Sharmell and Lashley's foe, Finlay.
World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. JBL
What Should Happen: I'm completely torn here. Mysterio is great, but so is JBL -- but for far different reasons. Rey is fantastic in the ring, Bradshaw is one of the best on the microphone. A writer could go either way here and not make a bad decision.
What Will Happen: No matter how poorly he's been treated, I have to think WWE will let Rey retain his belt in his first pay-per-view match. Mysterio takes it.
What Did Happen: Rey hits JBL with a 619, and then an Eddie Guerrero frog splash for the victory. Rey Mysterio remains your World Heavyweight Champion.
To wrap it up -- four right, four wrong for the night. In the big leagues, kids, that's called batting .500. In short, it's yet again another excellent piece of fake sports prognostication from yours truly.This Friday: Rip city!Now scram!Class dismissed!(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )
Previous Lectures:
- May 15, 2006: Professor Wrestling: TNA 'Sacrifice' Results
- May 5, 2006: Professor Wrestling: Hot Topics
- May 1, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The 'Backlash' Review
- April 23, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The 'Lockdown' Review
- April 14, 2006: Professor Wrestling: Class Questions
- April 6, 2006: Professor Wrestling: 'WrestleMania' Ponderings
- April 3, 2006: Professor Wrestling: 'WrestleMania 22' Results
- March 24, 2006: Professor Wrestling: LetterMania
- March 17, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The 'WrestleMania 22' Contest
- March 13, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The 'Destination X' Recap
- March 2, 2006: Professor Wrestling: Team 3D, Part Two
- March 2, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The Team 3D Interview, Part One
- February 20, 2006: Professor Wrestling: 'No Way Out' Results
- February 13, 2006: Professor Wrestling: TNA 'Against All Odds' Results
- February 3, 2006: Professor Wrestling: Let's Boogey!
- January 29, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The 'Royal Rumble' Recap
- January 20, 2006: Professor Wrestling: Readers' 2006 Wishes
- January 16, 2006: Professor Wrestling: 'Final Resolution' Recap
- January 13, 2006: Professor Wrestling: The Sting Interview
- January 9, 2006: Professor Wrestling: 'New Year's Revolution' Results
- December 30, 2005: Professor Wrestling: 2006 Wishes
- December 29, 2005: Professor Wrestling: WWE 'Armageddon' Results
- December 29, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping TNA's 'Turning Point' PPV
- December 2, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Letter Time
- November 28, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping WWE's 'Survivor Series'
- November 17, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Remembering Eddie Guerrero
- November 14, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping TNA's 'Genesis'
- November 3, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Ode To The Crusher
- November 1, 2005: Professor Wrestling: WWE 'Taboo Tuesday' Results
- October 24, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping TNA's 'Bound For Glory'
- October 21, 2005: Professor Wrestling: The Kevin Nash Interview
- October 10, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping 'No Mercy'
- September 30, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Buried With Mail
- September 23, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Do The Right Thing
- September 19, 2005: Professor Wrestling: The 'Unforgiven' Recap
- September 12, 2005: Professor Wrestling: The 'Unbreakable' Recap
- September 2, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Getting Real
- August 26, 2005: Professor Wrestling: The Nostalgia Zone
- August 22, 2005: Professor Wrestling: 'SummerSlam' Results!
- August 15, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping TNA's 'Sacrifice'
- August 5, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Answering Your Letters
- July 25, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Recapping 'The Great American Bash'
- July 17, 2005: Professor Wrestling: The TNA 'No Surrender' Recap
- July 8, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Readers Love Flair
- July 1, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Flair Deserves More Respect
- June 27, 2005: Professor Wrestling: WWE 'Vengeance' Results
- June 20, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Reviewing TNA's 'Slammiversary'
- June 13, 2005: Professor Wrestling: 'One Night Stand' Results
- June 3, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Being There
- May 27, 2005: Professor Wrestling: Austin, Nash Talk TNA
- May 27, 2005: Professor Wrestling: The 'Judgment Day' Recap
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