Julia Baldini wore heels for the first time when she was 22 years old. She said it wasn't because she wasn't into the way they looked or didn't know how to walk in them.
She grew up a tomboy, struggling to be a part of the relationship her brothers shared.
Baldini, now 24, said that even though she tried hard, she often felt left out as a middle child.
It's a position within the family dynamic that some say can cause a person to have insecurities and resentment.
The feelings and situations arising from it have been even classified and tagged with the popular term middle child syndrome.
But does being born after the first and before the last really cause a person any setbacks or extra stumbling blocks?
Some Kids Need More Attention
Stacy DeBroff, founder of MomCentral.com, believes it can.
"Middle child syndrome is real for kids sandwiched between the attention lavished on the first born, and parental sentimentality attached to the family baby," she said.
DeBroff said middle children need some extra parental attention to avoid feeling short-shifted and resentful.
Meri Wallace, a family therapist and author of "Birth Order Blues," said being a middle child is not just an external label or category.
"It is real things that happen within a family that causes real feelings," she said, adding that the child can really feel a need to identify herself. Wallace believes the birth order has a lot to do with personality type and shaping a person.
'What About Me?'
DeBroff said middle children might feel that they were born too late or too early to deserve special treatment. She said they often feel like nobody is listening.
"Sometimes middle children feel they are not being heard because their parents are always trying to play zone defense on the children," she said.
Wallace believes middle children sometimes resent their older siblings because they are allowed to do more and usually get to do everything first. They may resent their younger siblings because much of the attention is focused on them.
Resentment can be avoided by explaining to children that they too will be able to do those things when they get older and to set aside separate time for the middle child, Wallace said.
Baldini said she doesn't remember being resentful of her little brother when he was born.
But she does remember thinking he got everything.
"He never had to sit at the table and eat his vegetables until every last one was gone. If he didn't like something, they made him something else to eat," she said.
Feeling Left Out
Middle children often feel left out because one parent may be attending to the smaller child and the other to the older child.
"Parents only have two hands," Wallace said. "Someone is always left out, and often it is the middle child."
Wallace said oldest children are often more threatened by the child next in line, so they form a closer bond to the youngest child, again leaving the middle child out of the dynamic.
The experts agreed that the main goal of a middle child is always trying to fit in and be accepted.
Wallace said they are always struggling to find their place within the family unit and trying to set themselves apart from their siblings.
"They are also more likely to dye their hair purple to gain some way of being unique," Wallace said.
She said acknowledging specific personality traits and accomplishments will help the child identify his role within the family.
Wallace said planning one-on-one time with your children could also prevent a middle child from feeling left out.
And when they feel left out, she said, let the child know it is OK to say something.
"If they learn to say they need more attention, it gives them the tools to get what they need," Wallace said.
Parents should be also be aware of the challenges their middle child faces and be tuned into what the child is going through.
"If you are not aware of those issues and (don't) attend to them, the middle child will act out negatively to bring attention," Wallace said.
Sharon Fried-Buchalter, a family therapist and clinical psychologist, recommends scheduling in some individual time with each child. She recommends date nights, swimming trips or any scenario where talking is encouraged.
"Make sure he knows he can always come to you with his feelings," Fried-Buchalter said.
Benefits Of Being In The Middle
Being in the middle isn't always just a battle for attention. Experts said there are some perks.
Fried-Buchalter said parents will have learned some lessons by the time a second child is born.
"All parents make mistakes, it's a fact of life," she said.
These are mistakes she said could benefit a middle child.
"Sometimes parents are very overprotective of their first born child, and they get more relaxed with the next child," Fried-Buchalter said.
Wallace said parents are often too busy to scrutinize and be strict, so they tend to be lighter with rules and let things slide more.
Middle children also tend to have very social, creative personalities that they can use to their advantage.
Wallace said many of them become artists, writers and join other professions that cater to creative passions. She also said middles tend to have humorous personalities from years of becoming the jokester of the family to achieve attention.
DeBroff thinks they tend to have a more relaxed attitude toward life because their parents were more relaxed and less anxious with them.
Fried-Buchalter said middle children tend to work extra hard to please their parents, siblings and teachers.
Although Baldini she said she felt a burden to be the good child, to go to college and not make mistakes, she is grateful for that trait.
"I know that I'm a lot more grounded because of the pressure that was put on me. I hold myself to very high expectations, and I can definitely attribute that to my parents," she said.
Even though Baldini said it wasn't a piece of cake growing up smack in the middle of brothers, she doesn't think anyone should use being a middle child as an excuse.
And she wouldn't go around calling it a syndrome.
"If this is considered a psychological disorder, what's next?" she asked.
Wallace hopes more parents and people will recognize the importance of birth order and the role it plays in life, especially when it comes to middle child syndrome.
"In terms of a medical model, it is not really a disease, but it is a reality," Wallace said.
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