Friends of mine say they are too busy for relationships. I never believed that could be possible until I realized I've gotten too busy for my marriage.

When I'm not writing, I'm working a full-time job. When I'm not doing that, I'm filling in on the weekends at my part-time job. During the rest of the year, I find another two or three part-time gigs along the way.

As the extracurricular activities pile up, I'm neglecting this phase of my relationship.

I'm not starving for cash and don't really need to work multiple jobs, but I do enjoy the extra spending money. More than that, I hate to miss out on any opportunity.

I like being busy. I enjoy relaxing, but I prefer to keep moving. I feel like downtime is time that I'm not being productive. As long as I can keep it up, I feel like I can handle it.

But that doesn't mean my marriage can.

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My husband complains that I'm never around. He even tries to pull on my maternal strings and tell me the "girls" (our two dogs) forget what their mother looks like.

He's exaggerating, but there is something to it. Because when I'm there, I'm not necessarily mentally "there." I'm tired from my last activity or preparing for my next.

Even when the obligation is something fun, like social football or dinner with a friend, it often involves rushing.

Before I was married, being busy didn't seem to affect anyone else -- running from place to place was just a part of my life. Jack and I got together when I was deep in grad school and my job, commuting back and forth.

But now, as we adjust to married life and all the changes it brings, my need to keep on moving is hurting my relationship. My fatigue makes it hard to feel in synch with him.

Often I'm too tired to enjoy his company, which leads to snapping at each other over little things like where and when I use the hair dryer.

Sometimes, I don't even realize I'm tired until I find his gum chewing insanely annoying.

Although my activities outside the home help me maintain my independence, maybe I need to ease back a bit on "me time."

Marriage is about the two of us, not me and then him. I know he doesn't want me to give up a thing to make him happy, but I know that I have to make decisions along the way to make our marriage work.

I have curbed my socializing a bit, coming home earlier, going out less often with my friends, turning my cell phone off more often. I've even backed off picking up extra hours on the weekend.

Before I turn in my resignation to my overly busy lifestyle, I have decided to add a few more activities for the two of us.

We recently joined a co-ed soccer league, and now I'm figuring out when we can fit some more home improvements into the calendar.

I could justify working more because of the extra money it will mean for us. But I want to enjoy our married life on a daily basis, not just on vacations.

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I'm through with making it harder.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous newlywed who has loved, lost and doesn't mind sharing. Her column appears every other Thursday.