It's safe to say police in Newport are tired of dealing with people who choose to relieve themselves in public.
The police department posted a lengthy rant on Facebook Monday in which it decried public urination, called out a recent alleged offender and suggested anyone who can't make it from one bathroom to the next ought to consider wearing adult diapers.
"We’ve said it before, and it appears we need to remind people again – it is illegal to empty your bladder in an area that is not specifically designated for such activity," the post begins.
As an example, police posted a photo of David Michael Schweer, 44, who officers said urinated on the side of a home Sunday afternoon.
Schweer was taken into custody on a charge of offensive littering, which police said is a Class C misdemeanor and carries a fine of $1,000.
The police department noted in its Facebook post that while human urination in public is a crime, dogs get a free pass.
"It is in their DNA, and most likely a standard expectation worldwide," the post reads.
And while there's no law on the books, your fellow citizens will thank you for also remembering to wash your hands after relieving yourself, whether you use a toilet or not.
Copyright 2016 KPTV-KPDX Broadcasting Corporation. All rights reserved.